Healing past wounds: visualization with the inner teenager

[Intro] Hey, hey! Here we are again. I want to give you a chance to create space for your inner child. If you're not familiar, I am your host, Corinne Powell, and I am here to help the person who was the parentified child taking care of the needs of others when their own needs were not being met and taking care of the needs of others when they were so young that it was inappropriate. 

Corinne Powell: If that's you, if you had parental figures and caregivers that were consumed by their own needs and their own situation, that their attention wasn't on you enough, they didn't emotionally attune to you, they didn't physically take you where you needed to go and meet your practical needs, then you're in the right space because I am here to offer support to the past parts of yourself, but the present parts of yourself benefit from that and also the future parts of yourself. We are one body and the body stores memory. So the experiences you had in the past are still remembered in the cells of your body and it is worth giving time and loving attention to your past self. Vitally important. 

So thanks for joining me and I want to speak to your teen self today. A couple weeks ago, I spoke to your child self and I was speaking and letting things flow from my heart. But as I listened later on, what I shared even spoke to my inner child. It was so profound it brought me to tears, separate from recording the episode. Because as I record, I'm often brought to tears. My heart is deeply connected with what I am saying. 

And so today, I've been feeling like the teen self needs attention. So think of yourself between 13 and 19. And of course, that is just a range. You can apply this to anything that it resonates within you. But as you see that past part of yourself in your mind's eye. What do you notice about them? Do you see what their posture's like? What the scene might be around them? Perhaps the location they're in? What's going on around them and also very important what do you notice about them their stature their the way they're holding their body. What do you notice? Sometimes shoulders are hunched. Sometimes it's this feeling that we're constricting. We're just trying to keep it all together. We're trying to, we're tensing up. We're holding it all together. We're trying to keep our emotions in check. We're trying to feel safe when we're scared as shit. What is going on for your teenager self?

I also feel it's important to bring up that this type of request, me asking you to walk through this scene in your mind's eye, might be painful. It might feel uncomfortable. You might say, I don't like what I'm feeling. I don't like what I'm seeing. And as much as I never think you should go to these places unless you're 100 % in agreement. I invite you to go here because feeling uncomfortable emotions is a part of life, not just of the healing journey. It's a part of life. Think about without the healing journey, you're just feeling a lot of uncomfortable emotions all the time. You might be depressed, sad, angry, overwhelmed, startled, scared. To our bodies, these things can feel uncomfortable. So the better part of the healing journey is that, yeah, you still feel those emotions, but now we're inviting love and we're offering comfort to these parts of yourself that are overwhelmed, that are scared, that are exhausted. So we're benefiting you and you're taking the risk of embracing these feelings in this moment, but not without a benefit. 

In the end, you can feel better than when you started. In fact, when I walk through visualizations with my past self, I think I'm confident enough to say always, I always feel better. And maybe there's been...out of 100 times once that I didn't feel better, but there are so many times, if not all of them, that I feel better after the fact. That's why I also invite you to do this and that's why I highly recommend it. I use this practice during sessions when I'm working with people because I see profound results from it.

So going back to your teenage self and noticing perhaps the room they're in, the location, what's happening around them, but even more so what's going on for them and their body? What is their facial expression? What are you taking? What are you feeling? What are you noticing from the way they're carrying their physical body? And now, bear with me. And if you're comfortable, your present day self, can you walk your present day self next to your teenage self? And as you do this notice what happens. How does the teenager feel? And how does your present self feel? Because we have an opinion of the self. So, teenager or present, you're the same person, but I don't know. How you feel about that teenager. And I don't know how that teenager feels about you presently. So just take notice. 

And I'm gonna suggest you do something with all of this after too, because there's more to discover. I'm walking you through this and you're gonna wanna track with me and so some things you need more time with than I'm gonna offer you here so yeah, you could pause the episode, but a lot of times I don't even do that when I'm listening to episodes and they suggest pause. So just take more time afterwards and remember this scene and walk through it again. So as you notice the teenager and as the teenager notices you and you become aware of the response in each of you. I invite you to both look out to the scene around you. Again, whether that's you're in a home, you're out in public, you're outdoors, only you know. Notice, both together, what is around you. Scan and notice your surroundings. 

Now, is there any way you and your teenager self can band together? For example, if there's some commotion going on around you. Is there a way that you can support the teenager and that the teenager can pair up with you? Perhaps something wonderful is going on and you feel really happy and at ease. Is there a way you can enjoy and take in that moment together, you and the teenager? And if you're able to take notice. You can always share with me in an email or some other way. What you're discovering. Take notice of how it is for you and the teenager to be sharing this experience together. Is there anything your teenage self needs you to say to them right now? Is there anything your teenage yourself needs to hear that you can say to them? And is there anything that your teenage yourself wants to say to you presently? 

One element to this when you speak to the teenager self. Please only say something that would be kind and validating and affirming. Not you could have done better. Not something derogatory or negative. But when it comes to the teenager self, they may need to share something with you. That is different. If they need to say something that sounds derogatory to you, please allow them to because this is your past self needing to express something to you. They needed to get this off of their chest. They needed to say this a long time ago and they haven't.

Think of it as a parent and child relationship. When I interact with my children, my hope is always that they feel safe enough to come and share anything with me. However, there are things I notice about my children. There are things that I might be irritated about, that I might dislike. My goal is not to always share those things with them. There's a difference in the way that I let them interact with me versus the way I interact with them. You may or may not agree with that, and that's okay. I'm just bringing that up as an example and telling you why I say your teenage self should be able to share anything with you. But now you as the grownup shouldn't get to say just anything to the teenager if it's cruel, if it's without feeling, please don't say it. So that's where I'm coming from when I give you those parameters. 

As you take some time to notice what either of you or both of you might need to express to each other, then just take notice of how your body is feeling. Any sensations you're noticing, what's the way you're carrying yourself now? Has anything changed from originally in the beginning of this scene? And for the teenager self, how are they doing? What sensations are they feeling in their body? How are they holding themselves? You're just taking notice. It's so easy to want to make sense of what we notice, but we're just asking these questions and gathering more insight. And I know it can be frustrating to not make sense of things sometimes, but for the moment, I think it's a good practice to sometimes just do without understanding.

Understanding is wonderful, but sometimes we need to do something without understanding. And so as you take notice of how you're both doing if you're able, if you're able. Offer each other a hug. I don't know if this will be your grown-up self initiating or the teenager initiating. And even if it feels uncomfortable. Could you give a quick hug? And if it feels comfortable, then just hold them. Then just hold each other for a long time. And I want your teenage self to know that I'm so sorry. There were times when you needed support and it wasn't there. You needed somebody to hold you and they weren't available. You wanted to let your guard down and you didn't know how because the grown-ups around you didn't create safety. You didn't have a deep emotional connection with them so you didn't know how to feel vulnerable and safe with them. Oh that's so painful. Into your body that's been holding all of that in.

I just see myself opening up my arms and of course only as you're comfortable. But as you're comfortable, if you're comfortable, receive a hug from me. I am a loving human being who would never manipulate or use you. When I am out and about in public. Whether it's someone I don't know well or a close friend, there are times I offer a warm hug. That is just something I do. So as I invite you into a warm hug, it's very true to my nature. And as you feel the safety and the comfort of someone who is not looking to hurt you, to manipulate you, to receive anything from you, take notice of how your body responds to that and what changes. 

And let's inhale and exhale. Let's sit and soak up the kindness and the love that is available to us because you deserve that and you've always deserved that. From the moment you were born till the moment you die. You've always, always, always deserved to be supported and loved and welcomed on the days when you're performing well and on the days when you feel like you're not. Showing up in all various types of emotions, you deserve to be welcomed in all these moments. And it's unfortunate and it's painful and devastating when the people who parent you, the people who teach you at school when they're not able to be what you need when they're not able to welcome you no matter the emotions you're having, you feel the repercussions of that. But that's not your fault. Every human has deserved to have someone embrace them no matter their emotions. But sometimes the grownups, the people around that person aren't able to do it.

And with that, I'm gonna wrap up. I hope that you are feeling a little bit lighter. A little bit is better than none after having walked through this visualization. And if you feel like it's been difficult for you and you had things come up that you need to further process. You can schedule a one-time session with me and I can help you work through that. Please know my hope in this was not to stir up things that you feel are disrupting your life more. I also think it's important to note that sometimes what's below the surface is screaming at us because it wants to bubble up, it wants to actually get processed through, the body wants to recover from the pains and the traumas it's experienced. So this is also an opportunity to offer that to yourself. It's a very kind gesture to say, I'm gonna be willing to allow what's below the surface to bubble up to the surface, even when that's uncomfortable, so that I can process through and recover from what my body's been carrying all this time. So if you'd like support, reach out. If it's not me, please find a supportive person to talk through this with if you're feeling that there's a residual effect and you don't know what to do with it.

[Outro] So we'll meet back here again next week. And between now and then, I hope that you feel a little bit more welcomed, a little bit more loved and a lot more supported. Sending my love your way and wishing you a day that's better than expected.